No Bonus Points, Part Two: Community

Part One of this post can be found here.

My husband and I have realized that we are way overdue for some support in this parenting job. Him writing and defending his dissertation, followed immediately by a move with toddler and brand new job, these were just last straws. Very. Heavy. Straws.

So where to find a sitter in a town full of strangers? Start by acknowledging that this isn't a town full of strangers. We've lived around here for six years now, and made good friends. Since moving here, and especially since Ladybug's birth, I have learned a lot about participating in a community. A good first step is to be willing to talk to people, which will make friends out of strangers.

I met my some of my closest mom friends through La Leche League meetings. It didn't happen immediately. In fact, after my first meeting I was a little put off by how easily the other moms were chatting with each other and not me. But I kept attending and learned how easy it is to talk to others you've gotten to know. When another mom started talking about a childcare swap, I said, "Let's do it!" and we formed a three-mom weekly support group. Earlier this summer we took turns watching each other's kids, and I actually did get to several chiropractic appointments that way. I admit to not mentioning this great arrangement in my rant post. Goes to show how jealousy and exhaustion skew our perspective.

I have been working on becoming a regular at our local homeschool playgroup, in hopes that over time our family can form even more friendships. So last week I went to the archives of that group's discussion list and found a homeschooled teen looking for babysitting jobs. She was available on a particular night we needed and came with references. I was excited but still nervous about leaving our toddler with a perfect stranger, even one with CPR training.

It turns out community was on my side. When I asked our sitter for her references, one of them was my La Leche League leader. I was so relieved and said to my husband, "She's not a stranger anymore!" Turns out the LLL leader has known the sitter for years, since she was young enough to need a sitter herself. She watched Bug for us and things went smoothly. I don't know if her schedule or interests will allow for her to be the regular sitter or not, but I was so encouraged by the whole chain of events. We're not alone here, in homeschooling or parenting.